Im having a 'day'. You know, a day where stupid, inconsequential little things really get to you and you'd like to curl up in a corner and sob about the unfairness of it all but you cant?
Yeah, one of them.
I listed the things that were bothering me and that just made me more depressed.
So i thought id share it.
Im nice like that.
*If you want to skip this post i totally forgive you x*
1) I decided to try baby signing with Astro. I bought the book and spent time reading it and learning how to spot his cues. His first sign, which he just did naturally and all by himself?
2) Ordering a new tap thingy for the bath so i can finally have a shower and Husband needs a Thing for downstairs. Neither of his choices are in stock and i explain there is something similar and order that. He is fine with this until it arrives, and he says 'Its wrong, i needed one with holes in'. This is quite sufficient for me to grasp why it isnt suitable but he insists on launching into a long, drawn out, detailed explanation which leaves me quite certain he thinks im a moron. We have words.
3) Astro is a complete Daddy's boy. As are the older boys. The girls turned out to be Daddy's girls too, whats so wrong with me? Im way nicer!
4) I realised today that ive not had a shower/bath for around 6 weeks (hence taking matters into my own hands and ordering a new what-sit for the bath). I feel truly disgusting.*
5) Said what-sit cannot be installed until the weekend, at the very earliest, and is sat in its box at the end of the bed, mocking me.
6) My pain killers, along with keeping me awake, giving me fierce constipation and making my hair fall out are also getting less and less effective at taking any pain away and have changed my sense of taste so that pretty much every food i like now tastes completely crap to me.
7) The gross, disgusting, disease ridden mould downstairs (which will likely be responsible for the zombie apocalypse) is only getting worse and i cant bear the thought of the children spending any time near it so they are stuffed in here with me, which is lovely but im seriously claustrophobic and am boring the kids to death.
8) All i want is to have a shower and feel clean, get dressed and get out of the house. But i still cant. Our car has been delayed and we now wont get it til mid-March.
9) Husband put my juice in the wrong bottle and now my Ribena tastes pear-y. I dont like pears. But i cant waste the Ribena cos its so stupidly expensive.
10) All of our children's plates, bowls and cups are not bpa free. So now i need to replace them. Except nowhere in the UK does anything for anyone older than two years so i have to order from the US and pay the crippling postage.
11) My blog posts have stopped showing on my facebook news stream. Again.
12) I hate doing miserable, self-pitying blog posts like this but i need to let it out.
13) Nobody is commenting on my new facebook blog page thing so i still look like a freak just talking to myself.
14) One of my best friends is being all weird and passive aggressive with me and i dont know why or what ive done and i dont want to ask.
15) Ive felt for a very long time that there is something 'not quite right' about Manic but cant put my finger on it. Now someone else has mentioned it and i dont know how to go about helping him.
16) We desperately need a bigger house but our banding means we are just never going to get one. And i hate feeling like a scrounger being on benefits and on the council list even though there is absolutely nothing else we can do right now (and id never call anyone else in this situation a scrounger so why am i so hard on me?).
17) and now Pinks 'Who Knew' is on the radio and it reminds me of my sister and now im gonna cry.
Thankyou for listening x
*Oh, i do wash every day, ive just not had a proper bath or shower as i cant get in the bath and we dont have a shower (or didn't, til i got sick of the council fannying about and bought a mixer tap shower combo thing).