I only let on to two friends about this because i was worried, really worried, about what i would learn.
Today i got my mri test results.
And they were actually worse than i feared. They showed that (apart from the very slowly recovering SPD) there is nothing wrong with my back.
You may think "Well isnt this good news?" and in a way it is - I certainly dont want to be disabled, labelled or ill and in pain.
But (and this is a big one) im now left hanging again. I have no reason or explanation as to why my life is a constant struggle against excruciating pain and considerably reduced mobility.
I have to admit, i just cried. If there is an opposite to validated that is how i feel now. That doctor - the only one who took me seriously and empathised with me - can no longer help me. All he can do is pass me back to the physio and on to the pain clinic.
Limbo, thats where i live now. Its a painful and confusing place and i do not wish to be here.
Oh mate :( How utterly annoying/disheartening/worrying and all sorts of other emotions.
ReplyDeleteI know when I feel ill I really like to go to the doctor, be told I have an illness and be given some medicine for it, rather than just go away and wait for it to get better on its own. I'm so sorry for you.
ReplyDeleteHow frustrating for you. I understand how you feel because I suffer from a painful and limiting condition called Hyper Mobility Joint Syndrome. There is nothing anyone can do for the pain or to help the condition. It's something I have had to learn to live with.
ReplyDeleteThankyou x
ReplyDeleteIm sorry its taken me so long to reply to your replies but im still struggling to get my head around what went on that day. Everything surrounding the appt went wrong, we were really stressed and in the end had to have the appt over the phone. The doc didnt actually say there is nothing wrong, he thought there was an 'old injury' to my spine, which we think must be the actual problem, as ive never had a back issue before.
Herding cats, im very sorry you have that problem to deal with and live with, a very good friend of mine has hypermobility too and im am awed by her strength and perseverance of as normal as possible life for herself and her family xx