Ive just today discovered The Feminist Breeder - an American blog by a Mum of two (almost three). Im just reading some of her recent posts and getting a feel for the style of her blog before i decide to follow her or not (i will be, she is really really good)
But i keep starting to cry, and having to skip bits of her posts. I think there are so many aspects of her planned birth which i so dearly wanted for Astro's birth, and i didn't get to do any of it, and now i'll never have the chance to try.
Never feel another first little flutter, or spend a
I know im so so incredibly lucky and blessed and more to have any children, let alone five of them, and i adore them all from top to toe and back again. But i cant help feeling robbed. I never got to do it, my own stupid body failed me and now we'll never get to try again.
No more pregnancies.
It feels like a life sentance.
(ETA please dont mistake my sadness as begrudging TFB her planned birth. Just because mine went wrong, doesnt mean im some bitter old hag who wants everyone to be sad, If you ever see this please know TFB, that i genuinely wish you every success and happiness and an awesome birth xx)